So what prompts some one to start a blog?? Obviously different reasons fuel different people. My motive…to share my journey of weight loss, fitness goals, food planning and lifestyle changing with whom ever cares to read it. Why? Because I think when we struggle with certain things we tend to feel alone. At least that’s how I feel a lot of the time. I battle daily with the temptation of food choices, priorities and motivation. I am the mother of a fit athletic daughter, the wife of a fit athletic man and CrossFit gym owner. I am CrossFit certified in Level 1 Coaching and Olympic lifting. I am friends with handfuls of really stinking fit people, including the Fittest Woman in Canada. You would most likely expect to meet me and shake hands with a lean fit woman. I am not lean or fit and that is where I feel alone. I tell clients you need two base things to be successful in your fitness goals. Patience and commitment. Neither of those things I have given myself. I have stopped training people until I reach my own goals. How can I expect clients to implement the tools I give them if I’m not making use of those tools myself? Although I am a wealth of knowledge and fitness passion under this shell, my book is wrapped in a cover that doesn’t portray the accurate contents. Yes we all judge a book by its cover…. Especially in the health and fitness world. Soooooo, here is where I address my hang ups, fears and self sabotage and bring to life the things I have been dreaming about achieving over the last several years.
Weightloss:
I miss being healthy and confidant. I miss the feeling of jeans that slide on effortlessly and seductively over your hips, hugging your body in all the right places with nothing hanging over the top. They button up with ease and in fact, although tight on your quads, they fit loose on your waist and hips. Simplicity of a soft, worn white tshirt, just long enough to reach the top of your jeans. It doesn’t need to be any longer because if it rides up a bit….. what's underneath is sexy and lean. Sitting down with out a belt buckle digging into your stomach and leaving an imprint that only fades after a nights sleep. I miss the feelings of soft supple skin instead of lumpy rough skin on my butt cheeks. How about the luxury of a morning stretch and running your hand across your lean abdomen, just because if feels good! Freedom of jumping and not worrying about you belly popping out of your shirt. The look a man gives as he admires your physique, not in a rude way but just pure open appreciation. The toughest part of trying on a bathing suit was picking the colour. Wearing shorts and sitting down without worrying about cellulite squishing and someone noticing. Sweating during a workout and having your t shirt left wet in the armpits and low back area…. Not a big damp spot from your belly button. Smooth skin… did I already mention that?? Turning on the bathroom fan so the mirror doesn’t fog up because you don’t mind the view when you step out of the shower. Short shorts in the summer. Yes I have spent the majority of my life lean enough to know these statements intimately and in fact instinctively. It sometimes happens that I will be walking along, confidant and loving life, when I catch a reflection of myself in a store window and it stops me dead in my tracks. When did I get fat?? How did I get here? I assure you I didn’t set out to be fat. This wasn’t my plan. I try to run fast and am shocked to feel the weight slowing me down. My brain forgets the limitations of this shell I’m living in. There is an athlete under here I swear. Most of the people in my life now have only known me for the past 6 years and at this size so I imagine I look normal to them.. To me… I look like a different person. They don’t know that I used to run sand sprints at the river for fun, shoot hoops, play soccer, kick box, bike ride, walk every where, swim frequently and work out all the time. How would they…. My body tells another story. The journey of how I got here… Irrelevant right now. Just know that 6 years ago I stopped moving my body . Within 6 months I had put on 45-50 pounds. I have gone up and down 10 and 20 pounds but always coming back to where I am now. With aprox 32% body fat and aprox 50 pounds over weight, I am actually classified as obese. WHAT !!?? Keep in mind for the majority of my life I have had to eat major amounts of calories just to maintain a healthy weight and now, I’m obese. I don’t make any apology for talking about the view, feel and discomfort of being over weight. My intention isn’t to hurt anyone but to give you my true observations so that you might know that you’re not alone. My 50lbs to lose is the same as another persons 100lbs and as another’s 10lbs. Yes it is, mentally. It’s all relative. Sure the 100lbs person has a further physical way to go but mentally the journey is the same. Helpless, frustration, not know where to start or what to do. I guarantee you those 3 people have the same struggle with their body image.
My commitment to this permanent change started in January 2010 with the choice to eliminate gluten from my diet, followed by sugar and now dairy. I make a few exceptions along the way. I will blog more on that later. In March 2010 I was shocked that those dietary changes didn’t have any impact on my weight at all. That’s when I made the commitment to training regularly again. Here we are June 2, 2010 and a few pounds have moved off but hardly any. Enter in my “estrogen dominant state”. Yes, there is a legit reason for holding the weight. Another blog topic!! I have made some great leaps and bounds mentally and I hold desperately to the science that tells me if I just keep moving I will see change. If I let go of that I have nothing but a hopeless state of acceptance. I cannot live well and thrive with that thought so I refuse to believe that I was meant to remain in this state of obesity for the remainder of my life.
So there you go. Join me on my journey. Along the way I plan on changing a few things and passing on the things that work and things that don’t work. I have some goals I would like to share and a keen interest to know what is working for other people. Plus I’m actually kinda funny so you might get a few laughs along the way!! Comments and debate are always welcome as long as they maintain respect for others. Thanks for spending some time with me!
